Saturday, January 17, 2009

2008 A Year Of Discovery & Disappointment

If nothing else, 2008 proved to be a year of discovery and disappointment for me. Most importantly, I learned that you are never too old to learn lessons on life, the human spirit and relationships. (The more lighthearted stuff is at the bottom....LOL)

Second chances played an enormous role in my life and the lives of people I love this year.
I watched my daughter's life crash and burn at the hands of someone she felt deserved a second chance.......from this I learned many things.......

1) Though I have always been one to believe people are capable of changing, I now believe with my entire heart and soul that SOME people are not capable of matter what they are faced with, how many chances they are given or how they are punished for their wrong doings. Some people just lack the inner strength and maturity to say, "You know what? This is no one's fault but my own. I screwed up and now it's time to suck it up and move on." It's sad for me to admit, though people like this deserve no compassion or pity.

2) Try as I may, I just don't have all of the answers. Why do some people act the way they do? Why do some individuals cling to something for no viable reason whatsoever? Why must some people's heart be so full of malice and hatred when there is so much out there are is good and sweet and wonderful? Why do some people obsess over another....especially when the other person has moved on and has not a small inkling or glimmer of feeling left for them but pure pathetic pity and hatred? Why does this type of person's brain work the way it does? I've learned that relatively sane and analytical people, such as myself, will drive themselves to that very same brink of insanity trying to figure that out!

3) We are all walking a predestined path. Now, this is nothing new to the way I believe, but it still amazes me each and every time I see it happen. Especially when two people end up together who are RIGHT for one another. And if you look back at the path that they have each walked, it seems to cross over and over again.....almost like God is dropping that person in front of you and saying, " he/she is it time?" It's truly wonderful and fills me with this sense of awe when I'm lucky enough to witness it happen in front of me. I'm blessed to have been given the opportunity to watch this new found relationship blossom and grow. This has definitely healed my shattered heart!

4) Fear and intimidation, though very real to many people, can be used to try and crush someone's spirit and manipulate them. This year I learned that though there are many things in life to fear, threats like this should never be one of those things. This is a sheer waste of time, energy and emotion. The only thing good that comes from this type of fear is anger and awareness. (Yes, anger can be good if channeled I learned to stop fearing and worrying and become proactive. I took a stand and I fought and along the way, I saw someone I love become strong and determined. I saw this person take destiny into their own hands and say, "Come what may....but I'll stand strong and defeat it! Even if it does take a camera, a cell phone, a baseball bat and a gun" LOL!

During the madness this year, I had the opportunity for my own second chance. The chance to finally have closure on an old relationship that has haunted me for over 25 years. It was tragedy that brought about this chance.......see, good can come from just about anything............and from this I learned some valuable lessons as well.

1) Love can take many different forms....the love of a mother for her child, the love of a friend, the love you feel for the very first time in your young life. Love never leaves us, no matter what. But when loves just stops, without being allowed a means to the "end", it may waver or even make you think it's gone, but it never leaves.

2) I knew there were things left unresolved, but I was rocked to my core when I realized that these old feelings still existed. However, I learned that though those feelings were still there, they were exactly the same as when I was a mere girl. Love can't just pick up where it left grow it needs constant nurturing. Without that, or without that "end" it just stays stagnant.....but it remains.

3) In addition, I learned that as we grow older, we change.....A LOT. I am not the same person I was at 30...or even last year!! I have grown and changed and I still do, every year of my life.....and that's a good thing! I realized that sometimes we change so much that we just can't see why we were ever a part of someone's life..........WOW, just wow. Yes, I still had those old feelings in the deepest reaches of my heart, but they weren't for him as he is now, no way. He's different as well and definitely not someone I could ever carry that kind of love for again. I just wish he could see that....and realize that within himself......but he can't. So though I got the closure and answers I needed, I lost a potential friend......because he couldn't handle that.....nor could some people in his life. (And for the, I don't want him back.....never did, never will. HELLO, I got the sun, moon and stars right here at home!!) Yes, it would have been nice to have a civil relationship, but not with someone who is not trusted by those he loves....and someone who can't even trust himself.


1) I hate the Glade lady...........she's a poser and lies to her friends. (But you already know that)
2) This little Hoosier girl LOVES New York!
3) Friends can be found during the most trying of times.....I love you, Jason! You kept me sane and focused....... Welcome to my life, Yumi!.......... DJ and Shannon, what can I say? You're part of the family!
4) My daughters are waaaay cooler and funnier than I ever knew and have taught me alot. Their friends are pretty incredible too!
5) Indiana's stalking law was written by morons and needs to be changed. Did I mention that is one of my 2009 goals? hee hee!
6) I REALLY hate the Glade lady..."It's French...from France" RRRRRRRR!
7) Spelling errors and stupid people go hand in hand...yet they think they are smarter than the rest of us. I mean, c'mon, do you really think someone wants to do business with someone who can't even spell the word business? Typos and the occasional misspelling doesn't count, so I'm not picking on everyone! LOL!
8) Even Fergie farts.
9) Female dogs are scary when in heat....not to mention a little slutty.
10) Dogs are even scarier when giving birth!
11) Good people die, nasty people live. Why?
12) I am a full fledged anime geek.
13) My husband is obsessed with ghosts and the paranormal, so if he shows up at your house with a KII meter, EMF detector and a digital voice recorder, just humor him.
14) Law enforcement is open to each officer's interpretation and individual personality....sometimes it sucks, but sometimes it can work to your advantage. *wink*
15) A prosecutor can only work within the law the way it's written and they can get angry and frustrated too.
16) Even when cooked, cream cheese should never be eaten after being at room temperature for more than 5 hours.........TRUST ME ON THIS!
17) I STILL hate the Glade lady..."Oh it's this little boutiquey fragrance I picked up."
18) A picture is worth a thousand words. (Referring to my daughter's pics of her ex stalking her)
19) Sex changes when you get older.....if you're my age you understand, if not, talk to me when you're over 40.
20) Bill collectors don't like Japan
21) It should never matter if your friends believe differently than you or raise their children differently than you, they're still your friends.
22) I really am capable of madness when pushed beyond my limits....scary.
23) Crying with your daughter can be a good thing.
24) Laughing with your daughter....even better.
25) Compared to other people, my life really IS insane.....yep, I'm just now realizing this.
26) People who obsessively hit my MySpace page give me the creeps. Yes, you, down there in Florida...I know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourself.
27) I am a Blingee addict.
28) Some parents are absolute clueless, blind, ignorant idiots and have set their adult children up for failure.
29) I'm getting old.
30) I still love life....through it's trials, tribulations, lessons and difficult times...I still love life. It's worth it.
31) Puppies are amazing little creatures.
32) My youngest daughter is amazingly intelligent and insightful.
33) Some people just aren't worth it.
34) Even I can play a Wii
35) Be yourself....don't be the Glade lady.
36) Even the most demure, modest women can ooze sex appeal from every pore (Yes, "M" I'm talking about you)
37) Confidence can really change a person.
38) Even after you scoop the yard, your child will always step in the ONE MISSED TURD!
39) DO NOT feed your dog Thanksgiving dinner unless you're ready to face the repercussions.
40) My kids are amazing and really know how to love and support one another through anything. I'm blessed.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Yee Haw....Wrangle Them Doggies!!

I found my inner Ceasar Millan...........I'm now calm and submissive. But that certainly wasn't the case an hour or so ago!

So here's the deal.....we live in a very modest 1,900 square foot ranch with a big yard, four bedrooms (3 that are extremely tiny and a master). In this house is myself, my hubby, my son and my little one. We have 3 dogs, two labs, Stewart and Sophie and a Shih Tzu named Rukia. Back in March of last year, as many of you know, my older daughter moved home after an abusive marriage. It was one of those urgent "get out now" we got her out.....along with.......

Arthur and Guenivere (Shih Tzus and Rukia's parents), Bella and Shinji (Rukia's siblings), Buster (a rescued pit bull), Ausuka (a rescued lab wiemerimer (sp?) mix) and Coga (a rescued pit bull-blue tick coon hound) Now since the Shih Tzus and Buster are crated in her room, we keep Guenivere out along with Rukia, Stewart and Sophie. (Are you following me?) Ausuka and Coga are kept outside (which we absolutely HATE) So that brings me to tonight.

Here in Indy, it was 6 below zero this morning. I was terrified that Ausuka or Coga were dead, even though their dog houses are crammed full of hay and blankets and anything else they've drug in. Well they were both OK...just not willing to come out of their houses. But tonight they are predicting -10 to -20 with -30 degree wind chills.

Nope, I didn't want them outside tonight. Ahhhhh, saddle up, it's time to wrangle them doggies!

We borrowed a crate from a neighbor and began the switch.

Step one.....put Stewart, the I'm-gonna-chew-your-face-off senior, in the bedroom. Put Guenivere in the whelping pen with baby Masaharu and get Rukia in the bedroom with Michaela (she loves to bark, bark, bark, bark,bark at the other dogs) OK.....ready, set, GO!

Step two....Out go the Shih Tzu boys.........Chara cleans their cages....lets them back in....while Arthur jumps up and down, up and down, "Hi gramma, hi gramma, hi gramma...gotta say hi before mom puts me up, gotta say hi before mom puts me up! Got a bone to share? Huh? Huh? Can I like your face? Your hand? Anything?"

Step three...send out buster....the hyper-pit bull-on-too-much-crack-caffeine-sugar...he bolts through the house....runs in a circle about 25 rotations and disappears outside into the darkness, while Chara cleans his crate. Outside, Ausuka (who sounds like an injured, demented goose) and Coga are barking their heads off because the hyper pit bull is outside running back and forth, flaunting his freedom in front of them. Buster returns and is let back in the house just as Chara returns with the crate from next door.

In the meantime, Rukia is whining and barking at Michaela's door, wondering what the hell is going on out here. Stewart is drooling and scratching at the bedroom door, just dying to get out here and show Buster who the boss is. And Buster is in the middle of the living room with a pink winter scarf in his mouth going round and round and round at about 20 miles per hour. Guenivere jumps out of the whelping pen to see what the craziness is all about, sees Buster, growls, snaps and jumps back into the pen on top of Masaharu.........."YELP, YELP, YELP"

Holy hell, she's broken the puppy!!!!!!!! Nope, false alarm, just scared the hell out of him....and me. He's still got all extremities, he's moving....he's alright.

And Buster is still turning circles in the living room with the scarf.

Step four....bring in Coga...the biggest dork-dog on the planet!! He's jumping around on the leash, "Dur...I'm in the house! Why am I here?! What's that smell? Gimme that squeaker! I'm in the house! What's that? Where are we going?! There! On the plate! What's that?!" Chara disappears down the hall with him..........and Buster is now outside with the demented goose (Honk, honk, honk).

Step five.....bring in Ausuka...the one who barks like a demented goose. She slinks through the house, belly near the ground, eyes darting back and forth...she snags the dog Frisbee on the way through the living room and drops it in her nervousness. Close behind is Buster, still jumping and hopping around in a hyper terrier frenzy. He again grabs the scarf and starts running in circles.

I'm posted at the whelping pen, keeping the new mommy from tearing through the pen's walls and eating Buster for annoying her. She's quite nervous, although Buster was around her first litter of pups and terrified of them. (Yes, picture the big, bad, murderous pit bull backing into a corner and wetting himself after being accosted by three 6 week old Shih Tzu puppies)

OK....dogs are in place. Ausuka and Coga have a warm place to sleep for the night and Buster is still running amok through the living room and den. Chara emerges from her room in time for me to let Rukia out....she just growls at Buster and sits down quickly to avoid the typical doggy-butt-sniff-hello. Letting Stewart out, however, was another fun activity! See, he turns back into a six month old pup whenever he's around Buster.

The two are jumping around, growling, shaking the pictures on the walls, scurrying here and there. Rukia is in the midst, running circles around the boisterous boys, barking her little head off. I'm chasing Rukia round and round the room, trying unsuccessfully to grab her tail, back of her sweater....anything to get ahold of her and stop her yapping before one of the bigger dogs steps on her. Chara is trying to get one of the boys and give him a good neck poke and a Ceasar Millan patented "Tssshhhh" It's mass chaos....once again.........only in my house!

After a few minutes, all is well and we are back to our normal business of relaxing and watching television. Nearly an hour and a half of dog wrangling and I'm now pooped! Now I can look forward to tommorrow's potty-time escapade! This should be fun!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Catching Up With A New Baby In Tow!

I know, I one of my followers reminded me, I have been MIA since November! I'm sorry....but I'm finally slowing down from chasing my tail and ready to blog on.

The holidays brought the normal mania in our household (Are we gonna be able to afford the gifts? What the heck and I gonna buy my mom that she won't complain about? Who ate the last piece of pie?)The holidays also brought out the best and worst in our lives.

Take my little one. She turned 11 on the second of December (another time of mania for our household)and she informs us she suspects we are indeed the "Santa Claus" culprits. We hesitated, but eventually came clean about the whole childhood scam. After mulling over the lies in her head, my way-too-smart-and-savvy daughter looks at me and says,

"Wow, you and dad really work your butts off making sure we had a good Christmas every year. I got alot of cool stuff over the years. Thank you."

But that's not all!! We decided to take a left over portion of a big win I received earlier in the year and donate it to the local food pantry (which also gives out misc. donated items as well) So we wrap stacks of My Little Pony toys, take them over to the church and hand them out.

The next morning, while getting ready for school, the commercial came on saying, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." My daughter suddenly spins around, hairbrush in hand and yells, "I GET IT!"

Nearly spitting coffee out my nose, I just look at her like she's nuts and she finishes...."Santa isn't real, but he's an idea, a thing that lives in our hearts and anyone can be Santa! We were Santa last night! I get it now."

I was humbled.

So, in addition to my younger daughter's revelations, my older daughter got more than her fair share of *crap* Her ex started his creepy stalking stuff. Though the idiot was TOLD by the judge that there is a no contact order and if he violates, he goes to PRISON. How hard is it NOT to call someone repeatedly and hang up? How hard is it to NOT drive by someone's place of employment obsessively? Geez!

Well, as the prosecutor predicted, he got sloppy. In the wee morning hours on January 2nd, my daughter's cell phone rings half a ring and wakes her. She flips it open to see a number rather than they typical "unknown". She jumps online, reverse searches the number's her ex's phone number! And here we thought he only had a cell phone!

To make a long story short, he was arrested that morning and charged with invasion of privacy and resisting arrest.....and the prosecutor added felony probation violation. Yes, my friends, the idiot is going to PRISON!! The only bad part is that his 500 + pound mother is on the war path.....after all it IS all my daughter's fault *rolls eyes* At least she doesn't move very quickly.

But there are some shining lights in the madness. My older daughter is dating a wonderful guy now (nothing like ANY guy she's seen in the past) I absolutely adore him and his family! Plus............there's a baby in the house!!!!

No, not me! Are you kidding? I think my eggs have retired and moved to a home somewhere in Miami where there's shuffleboard and Canasta. We have a brand new puppy....and he's such a chubby little joy!

Meet little Masaharu...... you've met the baby and I've rambled on enough! Stay tuned for my "Things I Learned in 2008" blog!