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Monday, November 3, 2008

OK...I'll Admit It...I Hate The Glade Lady

I am a self-confessed television junkie. I like my daytime talk shows, my soaps and my prime time shows. And being a self-confessed television junkie, I am bombarded with commercials.

There are commercials for absolutely everything nowadays....from sexual dysfunction medication to lotions, food and cell phone service providers. Some commercials I enjoy, some I simply tolerate or ignore and still others.....I hate. Which brings me to the "Glade Lady".

I have nothing whatsoever against Glade products. As a matter of fact, the scented oil candles are to die for and I use them a great deal in my home. They envelop my home in the most delicious scents and really work to freshen things up, or cover wet dog smell, kid feet or hubby's latest kitchen "experiment." But I'm sorry, I hate the "Glade Lady."

"Oh, that smells incredible. It's one of those Glade candles." Says her soccer mom visitor.

"No, it's French....from France."

Poser.

Phone call in the bathtub. The Glade Lady proclaims, "Oh, I'm uh.....at the spa."

Liar.

Doing Yoga, the Glade Lady touts, "It's a boutiquey scent I picked up at a boutique. It helps me plug into my Karma."

Faker.

Why, oh why must she carry on like that? Is it important to be a faker, liar and poser? Is it soooo important to keep up with the Joneses that you need to make them think you're something that you're not? C'mon advertising executives, did you really think people would identify with her? And if so, it's scary to think that the demographic of posers out there is so large that they'd choose to develop advertising like this.

Well, if you come to my house, I'm going to tell you the truth.

Wanna know what that scent is? Glade candles...got them on sale at Meijer and I had a coupon! The chicken is delicious? Wow, thanks! I put it on the baking sheet all by myself, baked it for 30 minutes and viola! You like my outfit? Thanks so much! Target clearance rack....$3.00 for the shirt $6.00 for the jeans!

Maybe I'm just a simple gal to whom appearances don't matter. I'm not impressed by "boutiquey" fragrances, someone's spa trip or the price of the outfit. I like the person inside...the one who laughs at sitcoms and cries during chick flicks. I like people who have dogs that, well frankly, smell like dogs once in a while. I like people who'll fix dinner from a box occasionally, who sit on the porch and talk to neighbors and who don't need to run off to the spa for each little blemish, knotted muscle or chipped finger nail.

So...come as you are, I like you that way.....oh, and bring the Glade candles....my dogs have been playing in the rain.

5 comments:

Liam said...

Oh that so reminds me of a commercial... I forget what it was for, maybe Febreeze... anyways it was all about trying to cover up a scent...

They've got a guy in a chair and a wet dog next to him...

"What do you smell?" "A wet dog"

They spray something...

"Now what do you smell?" "A pine tree.... and a wet dog."

That commercial hasn't run for years but my wife and I still make jokes about it.

Mama said...

lol! I have never seen the Glade Lady, but I totally agree with you. If someone asked me what they smell at my house, I would tell them, oh it's glade or febreeze or whatever. stupid liar glade lady!

Barry said...

Hey I like your values.

I also like your description of yourself as a dog wrangler. That's often how I feel with my own (sometimes) smelly dog.

Anita Helena said...

Amen!

Brenda Susan said...

Oh man, I so agree! I also did a ranting blog about that Glade lady, faking cleaning her house while the family is gone!! What? Fake cleaning?! Ha! I enjoyed your rant very much, I'll be back.