2008 A Year Of Discovery & Disappointment

If nothing else, 2008 proved to be a year of discovery and disappointment for me. Most importantly, I learned that you are never too old to learn lessons on life, the human spirit and relationships. (The more lighthearted stuff is at the bottom....LOL)

SECOND CHANCES.........
Second chances played an enormous role in my life and the lives of people I love this year.
I watched my daughter's life crash and burn at the hands of someone she felt deserved a second chance.......from this I learned many things.......

1) Though I have always been one to believe people are capable of changing, I now believe with my entire heart and soul that SOME people are not capable of that....no matter what they are faced with, how many chances they are given or how they are punished for their wrong doings. Some people just lack the inner strength and maturity to say, "You know what? This is no one's fault but my own. I screwed up and now it's time to suck it up and move on." It's sad for me to admit, though people like this deserve no compassion or pity.

2) Try as I may, I just don't have all of the answers. Why do some people act the way they do? Why do some individuals cling to something for no viable reason whatsoever? Why must some people's heart be so full of malice and hatred when there is so much out there are is good and sweet and wonderful? Why do some people obsess over another....especially when the other person has moved on and has not a small inkling or glimmer of feeling left for them but pure pathetic pity and hatred? Why does this type of person's brain work the way it does? I've learned that relatively sane and analytical people, such as myself, will drive themselves to that very same brink of insanity trying to figure that out!

3) We are all walking a predestined path. Now, this is nothing new to the way I believe, but it still amazes me each and every time I see it happen. Especially when two people end up together who are RIGHT for one another. And if you look back at the path that they have each walked, it seems to cross over and over again.....almost like God is dropping that person in front of you and saying, "Hello....here he/she is again...is it time?" It's truly wonderful and fills me with this sense of awe when I'm lucky enough to witness it happen in front of me. I'm blessed to have been given the opportunity to watch this new found relationship blossom and grow. This has definitely healed my shattered heart!

4) Fear and intimidation, though very real to many people, can be used to try and crush someone's spirit and manipulate them. This year I learned that though there are many things in life to fear, threats like this should never be one of those things. This is a sheer waste of time, energy and emotion. The only thing good that comes from this type of fear is anger and awareness. (Yes, anger can be good if channeled properly...lol) I learned to stop fearing and worrying and become proactive. I took a stand and I fought and along the way, I saw someone I love become strong and determined. I saw this person take destiny into their own hands and say, "Come what may....but I'll stand strong and defeat it! Even if it does take a camera, a cell phone, a baseball bat and a gun" LOL!

MY OWN SECOND CHANCE.......
During the madness this year, I had the opportunity for my own second chance. The chance to finally have closure on an old relationship that has haunted me for over 25 years. It was tragedy that brought about this chance.......see, good can come from just about anything............and from this I learned some valuable lessons as well.

1) Love can take many different forms....the love of a mother for her child, the love of a friend, the love you feel for the very first time in your young life. Love never leaves us, no matter what. But when loves just stops, without being allowed a means to the "end", it may waver or even make you think it's gone, but it never leaves.

2) I knew there were things left unresolved, but I was rocked to my core when I realized that these old feelings still existed. However, I learned that though those feelings were still there, they were exactly the same as when I was a mere girl. Love can't just pick up where it left off.....to grow it needs constant nurturing. Without that, or without that "end" it just stays stagnant.....but it remains.

3) In addition, I learned that as we grow older, we change.....A LOT. I am not the same person I was at 15.....at 27....at 30...or even last year!! I have grown and changed and I still do, every year of my life.....and that's a good thing! I realized that sometimes we change so much that we just can't see why we were ever a part of someone's life..........WOW, just wow. Yes, I still had those old feelings in the deepest reaches of my heart, but they weren't for him as he is now, no way. He's different as well and definitely not someone I could ever carry that kind of love for again. I just wish he could see that....and realize that within himself......but he can't. So though I got the closure and answers I needed, I lost a potential friend......because he couldn't handle that.....nor could some people in his life. (And for the record......no, I don't want him back.....never did, never will. HELLO, I got the sun, moon and stars right here at home!!) Yes, it would have been nice to have a civil relationship, but not with someone who is not trusted by those he loves....and someone who can't even trust himself.

AND NOW.....SURPRISING REALIZATIONS OF 2008!

1) I hate the Glade lady...........she's a poser and lies to her friends. (But you already know that)
2) This little Hoosier girl LOVES New York!
3) Friends can be found during the most trying of times.....I love you, Jason! You kept me sane and focused....... Welcome to my life, Yumi!.......... DJ and Shannon, what can I say? You're part of the family!
4) My daughters are waaaay cooler and funnier than I ever knew and have taught me alot. Their friends are pretty incredible too!
5) Indiana's stalking law was written by morons and needs to be changed. Did I mention that is one of my 2009 goals? hee hee!
6) I REALLY hate the Glade lady..."It's French...from France" RRRRRRRR!
7) Spelling errors and stupid people go hand in hand...yet they think they are smarter than the rest of us. I mean, c'mon, do you really think someone wants to do business with someone who can't even spell the word business? Typos and the occasional misspelling doesn't count, so I'm not picking on everyone! LOL!
8) Even Fergie farts.
9) Female dogs are scary when in heat....not to mention a little slutty.
10) Dogs are even scarier when giving birth!
11) Good people die, nasty people live. Why?
12) I am a full fledged anime geek.
13) My husband is obsessed with ghosts and the paranormal, so if he shows up at your house with a KII meter, EMF detector and a digital voice recorder, just humor him.
14) Law enforcement is open to each officer's interpretation and individual personality....sometimes it sucks, but sometimes it can work to your advantage. *wink*
15) A prosecutor can only work within the law the way it's written and they can get angry and frustrated too.
16) Even when cooked, cream cheese should never be eaten after being at room temperature for more than 5 hours.........TRUST ME ON THIS!
17) I STILL hate the Glade lady..."Oh it's this little boutiquey fragrance I picked up."
18) A picture is worth a thousand words. (Referring to my daughter's pics of her ex stalking her)
19) Sex changes when you get older.....if you're my age you understand, if not, talk to me when you're over 40.
20) Bill collectors don't like Japan TV.......lol.
21) It should never matter if your friends believe differently than you or raise their children differently than you, they're still your friends.
22) I really am capable of madness when pushed beyond my limits....scary.
23) Crying with your daughter can be a good thing.
24) Laughing with your daughter....even better.
25) Compared to other people, my life really IS insane.....yep, I'm just now realizing this.
26) People who obsessively hit my MySpace page give me the creeps. Yes, you, down there in Florida...I know who you are and you should be ashamed of yourself.
27) I am a Blingee addict.
28) Some parents are absolute clueless, blind, ignorant idiots and have set their adult children up for failure.
29) I'm getting old.
30) I still love life....through it's trials, tribulations, lessons and difficult times...I still love life. It's worth it.
31) Puppies are amazing little creatures.
32) My youngest daughter is amazingly intelligent and insightful.
33) Some people just aren't worth it.
34) Even I can play a Wii
35) Be yourself....don't be the Glade lady.
36) Even the most demure, modest women can ooze sex appeal from every pore (Yes, "M" I'm talking about you)
37) Confidence can really change a person.
38) Even after you scoop the yard, your child will always step in the ONE MISSED TURD!
39) DO NOT feed your dog Thanksgiving dinner unless you're ready to face the repercussions.
40) My kids are amazing and really know how to love and support one another through anything. I'm blessed.

Happy New Year!

OK...I'll Admit It...I Hate The Glade Lady

I am a self-confessed television junkie. I like my daytime talk shows, my soaps and my prime time shows. And being a self-confessed television junkie, I am bombarded with commercials.

There are commercials for absolutely everything nowadays....from sexual dysfunction medication to lotions, food and cell phone service providers. Some commercials I enjoy, some I simply tolerate or ignore and still others.....I hate. Which brings me to the "Glade Lady".

I have nothing whatsoever against Glade products. As a matter of fact, the scented oil candles are to die for and I use them a great deal in my home. They envelop my home in the most delicious scents and really work to freshen things up, or cover wet dog smell, kid feet or hubby's latest kitchen "experiment." But I'm sorry, I hate the "Glade Lady."

"Oh, that smells incredible. It's one of those Glade candles." Says her soccer mom visitor.

"No, it's French....from France."

Poser.

Phone call in the bathtub. The Glade Lady proclaims, "Oh, I'm uh.....at the spa."

Liar.

Doing Yoga, the Glade Lady touts, "It's a boutiquey scent I picked up at a boutique. It helps me plug into my Karma."

Faker.

Why, oh why must she carry on like that? Is it important to be a faker, liar and poser? Is it soooo important to keep up with the Joneses that you need to make them think you're something that you're not? C'mon advertising executives, did you really think people would identify with her? And if so, it's scary to think that the demographic of posers out there is so large that they'd choose to develop advertising like this.

Well, if you come to my house, I'm going to tell you the truth.

Wanna know what that scent is? Glade candles...got them on sale at Meijer and I had a coupon! The chicken is delicious? Wow, thanks! I put it on the baking sheet all by myself, baked it for 30 minutes and viola! You like my outfit? Thanks so much! Target clearance rack....$3.00 for the shirt $6.00 for the jeans!

Maybe I'm just a simple gal to whom appearances don't matter. I'm not impressed by "boutiquey" fragrances, someone's spa trip or the price of the outfit. I like the person inside...the one who laughs at sitcoms and cries during chick flicks. I like people who have dogs that, well frankly, smell like dogs once in a while. I like people who'll fix dinner from a box occasionally, who sit on the porch and talk to neighbors and who don't need to run off to the spa for each little blemish, knotted muscle or chipped finger nail.

So...come as you are, I like you that way.....oh, and bring the Glade candles....my dogs have been playing in the rain.

My Daughter Is A Build-A-Bear Junkie

I had seen the Build-A-Bear Workshop commercials. They seemed far too emotional to me. I thought, "Geesh, it's a stuffed animal, not a life changing event!"

All of my daughter's friends seemed to have one of these do-it- yourself furry friends and she wanted one too. I checked their website and since the prices weren't too bad, I caved in to taking her to spend her birthday haul on a Build-A-Bear.

The day I took her, I was pleasantly surprised at how touching of a process it was....REALLY! She got to choose her animal and then a heart to get tucked inside. She made a wish on the heart, held it to her ear (so they would always share secrets), kissed it and so on. They stuffed the fluffy critter, sewed it up and then my daughter got to "bathe" her new friend. She chose clothing and dressed it, then we registered her new friend, Amy the Frog, on their computer. When we checked out, they presented my daughter with a birth certificate and tucked Amy the Frog into a really nice, cardboard carrier with windows and a beautiful ribbon securing the carrying handle.

Amy went everywhere with my daughter and when she couldn't take Amy with her, "grandma" got to babysit. Amy is a part of the family now, with her three outfits and pink Sketchers shoes with rhinestone heart shoelace decorations.(Amy's shoes are nicer than mine, by the way) But then suddenly, my daughter started jonesing for another friend.

She started digging through the couch cushions for change, checking all of her dress-up purses and the junk drawers in the kitchen for any stray cent she could find. She offered to do anything for a buck or two.She even begged Santa for a gift card to Build-A-Bear Wrokshop. Santa was compliant. He stuffed one into her stocking and a freind of ours got her one as well. By the day after Christmas, she was shaking and jittery....she had to go and build a new freind....and she had to NOW!!!

This time dad took her and she came home with Koko the Sheltie. Koko was dressed in red shorts and top with doggy print, red panties and dalmation slippers on all four fuzzy feet. My daughter even purchased a frog embellished outfit for Amy the frog while she was there.

The craving hit her again a few weeks later and she started mining for change, begging for dollars and planning her next Build-A-Bear Workshop visit. She knew she had accumulated a $10 gift card from her punch card (yep, they give punch cards!) but she knew it cost a bit more than that for the bear she had her eye on......a soft white teddy covered in pink and red hearts, a "special edition" for Valentine's Day. She was desperate. She needed another fix. She began asking how long till she could earn the money and when she could go next.

"Can I just go and look? Can I just go and buy an outfit? No,on second thought, I NEED this bear mom, forget the outfits, I just need the bear, I really do."

Finally she got so desperate to have the limited edition Valentine bear that, after being missing for an hour, she came bounding down the hallway and breathlessly announced, "I cleaned my room!"

Her father and I checked out her claim and yes, she had cleaned her room. It was absolutely spotless.....nothing under the bed, nothing shoved in the closet, no clothes in the trash can or toybox! Everything was neat and tidy. With her eyes spinning and glazed over she asked, "Now can I have a Build-A-Bear?"

Considering our daughter had just brought home a straight "A" report card the day before, her father and I agreed to take her to Build-A-Bear Workshop again, but it would have to wait till morning. Do you want to know how creepy it is to wake up at dawn on a Sunday morning to see your 8 year old sitting on the couch, fully dressed, hair brushed, breakfast eaten, teeth brushed and purse thrown over her shoulder?! It was frightening. She even seemed to be trembling a bit.

Through girnning lips, She began babbling like a lunatic, "I'll wait for you to get your coffee before we go. I would make it for you but I'm not sure how many scoops go in. If you want me to I can lay out your coat. If I could, I'd warm up the car. I'm too little too, right? He, he, he. Why don't you do that now? Nobody will see you in your jammies. Okay? Okay? This is going to be so much fun. I hope there's not a big line....I hate it when there's a line. Do you want me to get your jeans out of the dryer for you? How about a shirt? Here's my hairbrush if you want to use it."

We are now the proud family of Anastasia the Valentine's Bear dressed in her glittery pink t-shirt and skort set and black velvet Mary Janes. She's cute alright, but now I wonder how long it will be before my daughter starts jonesing for her next Build-A-Bear fix. This habit can be quite expensive and these furry creatures are accumulating a better wardrobe than I have!

I realize I could play this to my advantage. Heck,I could have my darling daughter doing laundry, cleaning out closets and picking up doggy presents in the back yard if I played my cards right. She'd probably do just about anything for a new cuddly friend. But I know that every child needs an incintive for good behavior, grades and a clean bedroom. Some children want cash, others want candy or surprises. My daughter's incintive just happens to have fur, a special heart and a killer wardrobe.

*Since I wrote this story for Club Mom, my daughter has accumulated SEVERAL more Build-A-Bear friends including Edward the bear, Puddin' the dog and Manhattan (who came from the New York city Workshop) among others. As of this update, there is no 12 step program for Build-A-Bear addiction, so please, stuff with caution!